Push for PORTER

It was on a fair and a pleasant day
Down to Maynooth centre I was bearing
With two shopping bags underneath my arms
To go hunting for the shelves of herring

Oh I left my home about twelve o'clock
And in Manor Mills I soon was faring
And I walked for miles up and down the aisles
As I hunted for the shelves of herring

Oh the work was hard for the signs were wrong
And I wished that I'd learnt navigation
As I passed the cheese for the seventh time
As I hunted for the shelves of herring

Oh I looked a wreck and my nerves were frayed
I was learning all about frustration
Lack of information leads to irritation
When you're hunting for the shelves of herring

The trolleys were few and the queues were long
And the bloody staff kept disappearing
I would catch their eye then away they'd fly
And leave me hunting for the shelves of herring

There was no one there at the service desk
And I frightened kids with all my swearing
And I fell asleep standing on my feet
And I dreamed about the shelves of herring

But then I took my place at the quick checkout
And the crowd behind they all were glaring
For I'd a hundred cans of the silver darlings
That I'd taken from the shelves of herring

Now for six long months I've been eating fish
And my house could surely use an airing
Ah but now I know never more I'll go
Go a-hunting for the shelves of herring