My grandmother, she,
At the age of eighty three,
One day took sick and died;
And after she was dead,
The will of course was read,
By a lawyer as we sat side by side.
To my brother, it was found,
She had left one hundred pound,
The same unto my sister I declare!
But when it came to me, the lawyer said, "I see
She has left you her old armchair!".
How they tittered, how they chaffed,
How my brothers and my sisters laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
"Granny only left you her old armchair!".
I thought it hardly fair,
And yet I did not care,
And in the evening took the chair away.
My brother, he laughed,
And my sister she chaffed,
And said, "It will be useful some day!".
"When you settle down in life,
Find a girl to be your wife,
You'll find it very handy, I declare!
On a cold and frosty night
When the fire burns bright,
You can sit in your old armchair!".
What my brother said was true,
For in a year or two
I had settled down and married life;
I first the girl did court
And then a ring I bought,
Took her to the church to be my wife!
Oh, the old girl and me
Were as happy as could be,
For when my work was over, I declare,
I never abroad would roam,
But each night skated home
And was seated in my old armchair!
One night the chair fell down;
When I picked it up I found
The seat had fallen out upon the floor.
And there, to my surprise,
I saw before my eyes
A lot of notes, two thousand pounds or more!
When my brother heard of this,
The fellow I confess
Went nearly mad with rage and tore his hair!
I only laughed at him,
And said unto him "Jim,
Don't you wish you had the old armchair?".