Push for PORTER

R
izquierdaThe Glasgow Barberderecha
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When I first sailed over from Belfast to Greenock
My blood felt congealed to be leaving the sod
And my heart swelled as big as the cot I sailed over on
When the gaffer refused to give Paddy a job.

When I landed in Glasgow inquiring for Queen Street
Went into a barber's and he bid me sit down
And he placed me so fair in the arms of a chair
And he covered me over with his grandmother's gown.

Says he are you shaving? Says I are you raving?
The hair on my head I want cut in a row
And before you'd be starting I'd like you'd be certain
It's the style that we use in the County Mayo'.

Well he placed his steel clinkers above my eye winkers
You'd swear t'was the vamps of Moll Flannigan's fan
He oiled it and streaked it he combed it and sleaked it
He oiled front and rear with his two little hands.

Says he Irish Pat you'll pay fourpence for that
It's a style that an Irishman seldom does show
It's the ladies conceit aye and you will look neat
When you land with your friends in the County Mayo.

Ah bad luck to your soul do you think I'm a looby
The hell to your soul sure the hair was my own
It's before I'd make bargains with the barbers of Scotland
I'd rather make bargains with the landlords at home.

Well he called in two bobbies for to take Irish Paddy
With hats on their heads like large rucks of straw
Says they Tarra musha says I Arra gusha
Its a word that we use in the County Mayo.

Then I took to me stick and they took to their batons
The police and the barber I soon did put down
And I left them two bob for to buy sticking plaster
And quick took my way to the east of the town.

When I looked in the glass you'd swear I was an ass
For me lugs stood so high and me head hung so low
Bad luck to their trestles, their bells and steam whistles
And hurrah for the boys of the County Mayo .



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