Push for PORTER

You may talk of your outings, your picnics and parties
Your dinners and dances and hoolies and all
But wait till I tell you of the gas that we had
On the night that we went to the Charladies' Ball
I went as Queen Anne and I went with me man
He was dressed as a monkey locked up in a cage
There was pirates and pierrots and Hottentots and whatnots
And stars that you'd see on the music hall stage

At the Charladies' Ball people said one and all
"You're the belle of the ball, Mrs. Mulligan."
We had one-steps and two-steps and the divil knows what new steps
We swore that we never would be dull again, bedad
We had wine, porter and lemonade. We had cocktails and cocoa and all
Ah we'd champagne that night but real pain the next morning
The night that we danced at the Charladies' Ball

There was cowboys and Indians that came from Drumcondra
Sweet Francis Street fairies all diamonds and stars
There was one of the Rooneys as the clock over Mooney's
And a telegram boy as a message from Mars
Mary Moore from the Lots was the Queen of the Scots
With a crown out of Woolworths perched up on her dome
There was young Jemmy Whitehouse came dressed as a lighthouse
And a Camden Street Garbo that should have stayed home

At the Charladies' Ball people said one and all
"You're the belle of the ball, Mrs. Mulligan."
We had one-steps and two-steps and the divil knows what new steps
We swore that we never would be dull again, bedad
We had wine, porter and Jameson. We had cocktails and cocoa and all
We had rumbos and tangos, half-sets and fandangos
The night that we danced at the Charladies' Ball

Mary Ellen O'Rourke was the Queen of the Dawn
By one-thirty she looked like a real dirty night
Micky Farren, the bester, came dressed as a jester
He'd burst his balloon and dropped dead with the fright
Kevin Barr came as Bovril, "Stops that sinkin' feelin'"
Astride of a bottle, pyjamas and all
But he bumped into Faust, who was gloriously soused
And the two of them were sunk at the end of the hall

At the Charladies' Ball people said one and all
"You're the belle of the ball, Mrs. Mulligan."
We had one-steps and two-steps and the divil knows what new steps
We swore that we never would be dull again, bedad
We had wine, porter and Jameson. We had cocktails and cocoa and all
We'd a real stand-up fight but we fell down to supper
The night that we danced at the Charladies' Ball