Well if you've got a wingo take me up to ringo
Where the waxies sing-o all the day
If you've had your fill of porter and you can't go any further
Then give your man the order back to the Quay.
And take her up to Monto, Monto, Monto,
Take her up to Monto, langeroo to you.
You've heard of the Duke of Gloucester, the dirty old imposter
He took a mot and lost her up the Furry Glen
He first put on his bowler, then he buttoned up his trousers
And he whistled for a growler and he said, "My men,
Carey told on 'Skin the Goat,' O'Donnell put him on the
He wished he'd never been afloat, the dirty skite
It wasn't very sensible to tell on the Invincibles
They took aboard the principals, day and night.
You've seen the Dublin Fusiliers, the dirty old
They went to get the childer, one, two, three
Marchin' from the Linen Hall, there's one for every cannonball
And Vicky's goin' to send youse all o'er the sea.
When the Czar of Russia, and the King of Prussia
Landed in the Phoenix in a big balloon
They asked the police Band to play, `The Wearin' O' the Green'
But the buggers in the depot didn't know the tune.
The Queen she came to call on us, she wanted to see all of
I'm glad she didn't fall on us, she's eighteen stone
`Mr. Me Lord Mayor,' says she, `Is this all you've got to show to me?'
`Oh indeed and, ma'am, there's more to see - póg mo thóin!